Watching over me

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Watching Over Me

By

Ryan Howell

I had never really lost anyone close to me before so I didn't really know what my reaction would be when I did. However what I did know was that no matter what if ever faced with this situation I would have to be strong for myself and for my family. God would be there to take care of the rest.

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As I awoke on this day I saw the bright shining of the sun and at the same time felt pain inside my heart. I awoke to tears of sadness from my mom and the sound of her voice saying to me, "Your grandfather may not be with us much longer." I could only hold her close and tell her that no matter what everything would be ok. I also knew that I would deeply miss my grandfather but even in death he would still be watching over my family and me.

A few days later I decided to go and visit my grandfather in the hospital. Before I got there I prayed with all my heart that he would be awake and alert for this visit as he hadn't been for the past several days. I walked in with my mother to find my grandfather in a more conscience state than he had been in the past several days. I found myself in a room with several different machines and bags filled with some type of medicine that was draining as slowly as a quite stream into my grandfather's body. His words were very weak and hard to understand as they always were. It just mad me happy to see him aware and talking instead of being completely unaware of what was happening.

In the days that followed however my family was delivered with a serious blow. My grandfather's condition was getting worse now not only was he sick but he was dying. His Parkinson's was finally taking over his body completely destroying all of his organs and functions. He had slipped back into a state of unconsinceness. The tears filled my cheeks at the sound of my mothers voice saying, "Its only a matter of time now."I wish I had known at the hospital that it would be the last time I ever saw my grandfather alive. I would have told him how much he had meant to my life and that I loved him more than he may have ever known. On perhaps one of the sadest days of my life thus far I was awakened by the sound of a ringing phone as loud as a siren, it was my father he said, "He's gone". I could feel the wetness of my tears running down my face like a broken water faucet. I also held onto my sister who was completely broken down and unable to deal with the situation at hand. The loss was so painful yet I felt as though it was just his time to pass.

Staring at his body in the casket I couldn't help but think of how peaceful he looked. I know now that his suffering has ended and he has entered a far better place. No matter what I know that I will forever remember him for who he was and how he helped me throughout my life. I will always know that he is watching over me with a smile and perhaps laughing at me at times as well. I still talk to him at night thanking him for what he has done for me. I have been able to move on from this experience with death and know that it will help me in future experiences, even in the darkness of death I was still able to find the light.

Audience Adults

Purpose To share my experience of the death of someone close to me so that others can learn from my experence.

Personaserious

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